F’ed Up: Getting Shaken Down by the Cops in Moldova

Wasn’t This Bad, But Still [cryptome.org]

Pick up a copy of the chapter on Moldova in the Lonely Planet guide to Romania & Moldova and you’ll learn that encountering minor extortion at the hands of cops in Chisinau—the capital of the former Soviet republic—is a common experience for tourists and expats alike. In my case, a failed attempt to dash across Chisinau’s completely empty Boulevard Negruzzi at night caught the whistle of a nearby policeman.

Up to this point, Chisinau had seemed like such a relaxed place, without a hint of authoritarianism. Government posters optimistically forecast Moldova’s future in the European Union. Locals hunch over their laptops in public parks, enjoying free wireless Internet access. Pedestrians cross streets against streetlights.

The cop wasted no time. “Dokument,” he demanded. We handed our passports over. He called for backup. He seemed to enjoy paging through our passports, turning each leaf in a leisurely manner. His main concern was in identifying my Romanian entrance stamp, a request at first perplexing—what did it matter when I entered a neighboring country?—and then immediately transparent as a delaying tactic.

Three other cops lumbered over, slowly and calmly. A burly blond fellow was the leader of the crew. “California?” he asked, peering at the line listing my place of birth with undisguised fascination. “Da,” I replied with a smile, hoping that my exotic provenance might turn out to be more interesting than money.

My travel companion and I talk neither Romanian nor Russian, yet several words were simple to understand: the aforementioned dokument, shtraf (fine), and kommissariat, which I took to mean headquarters. I fished out a 50 lei ($4) bill, trying to indicate through shrugs that it was all I had on me. They were clearly hoping for a larger bill and continued to engage. The word kommissariat was repeated.

Ten minutes into our conversation, tiny had changed. It was time to move things along. We were standing next to Beer House, a restaurant popular with tourists. In hopes that direct translation might expose the ridiculousness of our infraction, I suggested in the most cringeworthy manner possible that we have the restaurant’s waiters translate for us. “Beer House, Angliski,” I said, pointing my thumb toward the restaurant. My travel companion immediately recognized what I was doing and began to nod vigorously and walk toward the restaurant.

That seemed to do it. The cops’ eyes clouded over. The huge policeman made a gesture toward my pocket. I removed the bill and passed it over. He returned our passports. We were free.

Chisinau is an exciting, fascinating city. You should visit. And if you do, know that you’ll very possibly find yourself shaken down.

Here are five tips for dealing with the quasi-inevitable:

1) Carry your passport with you. This is key. If you don’t want to carry your passport, have a photocopy of it with you. You are required to have your passport in Moldova.

2) Relax. Unless you’ve committed a real crime, the chances of anything terrible happening are slim. Be confident but respectful. Don’t get angry and hide any annoyance you might be feeling.

3) Don’t get sidetracked by issues of fairness. Two men jaywalked right by us at precisely the spot where I’d made my attempt. One approached the first cop, shook his hand, and started up a conversation. There is no need to call attention to this sort of discrepancy.

4) Provide another diversion. Give them a story better than money. This is advice from my sister, a onetime resident of Moscow, and is much easier to follow in Chisinau if you have some Russian or Romanian to offer.

5) Don’t feel shame. It doesn’t matter how good a traveler you are. You’re in a place where minor extortion is a common experience.

- Alex Robertson Textor

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